Thursday, September 30, 2004

Dead Right
I want to tell you about my dad, and I'm going to start with a couple war stories. My dad was a tough guy, powerfully built with huge hands. When he went into the Navy during World War II, he weighed 185 pounds, was five feet eleven inches tall, and had a 32 inch waist. He served throughout the war as a Seaman on an LST in the Pacific theater. LST means Landing Ships, Tank, or Large Slow Target depending on your sense of humor. LSTs could carry smaller craft topside, had a tunnel-like hold to fill with tanks, vehicles, guns or other cargo, and supported amphibious landings during the island-hopping campaign against the Japanese. Click more.. below.
posted by Cliff @ 10:15 PM CST [more..]

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Bums and Bimbos
Welcome back to school. I too have had the summer off, as a quick analysis of the dates of my last few entries will readily tell you, but I didn't spend the summer tanning, talking on my cell phone, and mindlessly fornicating like you did. You see, my parents are well past the midlife crisis stage where they are so absorbed with alcoholism, divorce, and self-pity that you pretty much have the place to yourself. No, sports fans, when your parents get old enough, there are no more One Life to Live soap operas, just ER. That's right, your parents start getting sick and dying all over you, and, get this, you're in charge of all events. Jesus, and they thought you were a pain in the ass. Anyway, you're back and so am I, and fall, make that autumn, is the best time of the year in Chicago. It's way early, but just to get in the proper frame of mind check out last year's "Halloween" entry.

posted by Cliff @ 05:27 PM CST [link]

Thursday, July 8, 2004

Tom Cribb
Tom Cribb, champion bareknuckle boxer, was born July 8, 1781 in Hanham, Gloucestershire, England.

A former coal porter and sailor, Cribb began his boxing career in 1805, and became one of the most popular and respected fighters in the English prize ring. Although never reckoned as a world titleholder, he defeated two outstanding American athletes, both former black slaves: Bill Richmond, in 1805, and Tom Molineaux, in 1810 and again in 1811, the second contest being an especially savage battle. Cribb also scored two victories over Jem Belcher, a former London Prize Ring champion. He retired after the second Molineaux fight.
posted by Cliff @ 06:14 PM CST [link]

Monday, June 21, 2004

Born Yesterday?
Don't you guys go to the movies? When the Red Man signs a treaty with the Great White Father in Washington, or in this case Sacramento, the fix is in, the Red Man will lose. Savvy, Tonto? Click more.. below.
posted by Cliff @ 06:03 PM CST [more..]

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Killer Biscuits
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting with her in-laws and while she was there she drove to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and her eyes closed, with both of her hands held behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to her car to see if she was alright. Click more.. below.
posted by Cliff @ 05:49 PM CST [more..]

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Uncle Dan
Uncle Dan reminds us, after soaking up the entry "Old Attitude," (new window) that it's tough all around, especially for the old guy who is clipping his last few coupons. Okay, Uncle Dan, but that doesn't really make it better for anybody. Do you have a plan? No, he tells us, but George Carlin knows, at least, how it should be, and that’s a step in the right direction. Right? Click more.. below.
posted by Cliff @ 03:33 PM CST [more..]

Sunday, June 6, 2004

Old Attitude
Being sick can provide anyone with an attitude, but being old and sick can reach a whole new level. Check out "This Week's Fantasy" and see what I mean.

How do you fight back? Well, I changed the lyrics to Short People and it felt pretty good.

Old People got no reason
Old People got no reason
Old People got no reason
To live

Click here for all of the new lyrics.

posted by Cliff @ 09:03 PM CST [link]

Saturday, June 5, 2004

May's Ten
The monthly optimized time management reading list entitled, "What Did Everyone Else Read?" in May.

With your time management problems in mind, I have listed May's ten most "viewed" entries, as reported by Cliff's Notes month end logs, ranked by times viewed, and annotated with my comments on each entry.

Oh nuts, you're just too good to us! Yeah, maybe -, but who loves ya?. Click more.. below for all this, and links too!
posted by Cliff @ 01:08 PM CST [more..]

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Ain't the Same
It just ain't the same now, is it Arnold? Our first clue was when, as a candidate under attack by ex-groupies, "The Govinator" copped to having "behaved badly sometimes" and "done things that were not right which I thought then was playful but now I recognize that I have offended people." His womanizing playfulness later mused in an interview with CNN, "I've been here for 35 years in this country and I have never had any complaints filed against me nor any complaints made to me," he said. "It was rather odd, I would say that just a few days before the election that all of a sudden there was 16 [women] that had, you know, complaints." Click more.. below.
posted by Cliff @ 05:21 PM CST [more..]

Monday, May 17, 2004

Lotsa Hair
May 17, 1969, psychiatrist David Reuben published Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask). Have they updated those drawings yet?
posted by Cliff @ 06:14 PM CST [link]

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Art is Pure
Yes, be an artist. This is your chance to prove you've got what it takes. Play with the controls. You're in charge! CLICK HERE! This link opens in a separate window.

If you liked that, then check out "The Real Shit;" this entry will lead you to a lot more of the same.
posted by Cliff @ 05:46 PM CST [link]

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Fitness Guru?
The Associated Press reports, "Bob Greene, the fitness guru who trimmed Oprah Winfrey and is riding his bicycle across the country to promote health and wellness is sticking up for his sponsor, McDonald's"

What a surprise!
posted by Cliff @ 08:19 PM CST [link]

Monday, May 10, 2004

The Cost
As of Monday, May 10, 769 U.S. service members have died since the beginning of military operations in Iraq last year, and a couple of hundred of these were killed in traffic accidents. Not too bad considering this is, after all, a real live shooting war. We even know why we're fighting, and the people who have been killed, so far, all chose to join the military of their own free will. This war in Iraq is the cleanest war in history, as war goes. But, will it turn into Vietnam? Click more.. below.
posted by Cliff @ 10:51 PM CST [more..]

Friday, May 7, 2004

Stop Sex
The "moral right" wants to stop teenagers from having sex. Sure, no problem, just require a doctor's prescription, and, for good measure, how about a prohibitively expensive tax stamp? Sure, that'll work, right?

The Bush administration is being widely accused of putting politics before reason in rejecting over-the-counter sales of morning-after birth control. The FDA cited concern about young teenagers' use of emergency contraception without a doctor's guidance - overruling the agency's own scientific advisers, who had overwhelmingly backed easier access to the morning-after drug as a safe way to prevent thousands of abortions. Wait, is the "right" wrong? Don't they want to stop the murder of the unborn by godless teenage fornicators? Click more.. below.
posted by Cliff @ 08:48 PM CST [more..]