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08/06/2003: "Study This"

Stupid studies lead to stupid laws. The Chicago Tribune reports, "Talking on a cellphone behind the wheel is more dangerous than driving drunk, researchers from the University of Utah conclude in a new study. And it makes no difference whether the telephone is hand-held or hands-free, researchers say."

What, are they nuts? Let's kick that around. Click more.. below.

I think it's safe to assume that, in the context, "...is more dangerous than driving drunk", dangerous relates to the likelyhood of having traffic accidents. Based on my own recent experience (see "Trees are Hard"), I believe that the vast majority of traffic accidents are caused by mental lapse. Mental lapse is what happens when the driver's brain subconsciously accepts circumstances as routine and goes on auto pilot. The brain may perceive itself as being between steps that require conscious attention and be dead wrong. If simple mental lapse causes most accidents, there is little or nothing you can do to stop them, including passing stupid cellphone laws.

I'm not saying that distraction from a conversation (cellphone or otherwise), or physical impairment from drinking are not contributing factors to traffic accidents; they are, but so is the ultra normal, non-rush hour trip to your local store, and there's no law against that, yet. Where does it end? I don't know where it ends, but I do know where it begins, and that is with stupid studies.

How stupid is this study? Let's go back to the study's conclusion, "Talking on a cellphone...is more dangerous than driving drunk...And it makes no difference whether the telephone is hand-held or hands-free." If your hands-free phone includes voice activated dialing, then talking on your hands free phone, while driving is no different from talking to passengers, or listening to the radio.

"Cellphone conversation draws attention away from the processing of the visual environment," said David Strayer of the university's psychology department, one of the study's three authors. "We found a 50 percent reduction in the processing of visual information when you're driving and talking on a cellphone."

Only Dave knows why conversation coming from a hands-free speaker draws more attention away from the processing of visual information than conversation with your wife, girlfriend, or buddy in the passenger seat. Maybe passengers should wear seatbelts over their mouths. Shut up, it's the law. Say, are radios still legal, the game is on?

Hey, that's pretty stupid. Right, but there's more. This study is based on the performance of 41 test subjects on a driving simulator. Each subject "drove" on a simulated multilane highway, with and without each type of cellphone (hands free/other) and with and without a 0.08 percent blood-alcohol level. "When drivers were conversing on a cellphone, they were involved in more rear-end collisions . . . than when they were legally drunk,". Are you thinking what I'm thinking? These "subjects" had to be idiots! Where do you find a group of 41 people who have a statistically significant number of rear end collisions in less than a few years of driving, under any circumstances. If this were normal, your Allstate bill would be bigger than your mortgage.

Let's face it, this is a stupid study, but the fact that it was written up in a newspaper like the Chicago Tribune leads me to believe that more stupid cellphone laws are coming soon. The next time you see a women weaving all over the road while she breaks up a fight between her kids in the back seat, or a guy running off the road while recovering a burning cigarette butt from his crotch, and think, there should be a law, relax, there will be.

Let's face it, this is a stupid study but the fact that it was written up in a real newspaper, like the Trib, leads me to believe that more stupid cellphone laws are coming soon. The next time you see a women weaving all over the road while she breaks up a fight between her kids, in the back seat, or a guy running off the road while recovering a burning cigarette butt from his croch and think, there should be a law, relax, there will be.



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