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10/19/2003: "May I Digress?"

Lest you believe that my purpose here is to blow sunshine up your skirt rather than provide you with the Cliff's Notes to Life, which we know isn't always pretty, I'm going to step back for the last time to Columbus Day weekend. Yeah, we had the weather, the fall colors, and we had a great time, but we also had to come home. And that was a little more complicated than it sounds. Click more.. below.

I left you Saturday, October 11, with an accurate take on the weekend, and if you check out "This Week's Fantasy" sometime before this coming Wednesday (fantasy rotation day), you can see some pictures. But, as I said, then it gets a little more complicated. All the party goers did their thing on Sunday afternoon with the "close for the season" chores, and on Monday morning we all backed out the door sweeping and went our separate ways. We are peers; we had the fun, we did the work, and we booked. Just that simple.

I'm getting to the colorful part. We, my beloved and I, live in Chicago, as do my beloved's parents. Her parents, now in their mid-70s, are past the time in their lives when shooting dice with old man weather in heat-free cabins sounds like a good time, so they do their summers in a nearby condo which is conveniently outfitted with heat, air-conditioning, and cable TV. More power to them, but they are still slaves to tradition and return to the big city on Columbus Day weekend. This year, for the first time, they returned with us. English Bob no longer drives, but he likes his Volvo near him, so we drove Babs's car, a Ford, to Michigan with the idea of helping them pack their things in their cars and then caravaning back to the big city. We then planned to pack our stuff in the roof rack mounted "Egg McMuffin" box carryall. Good ideas, as far as they go, but, you see, this group is not a group of peers. They, being the parental units, have the last word on methodology and rightly so; after all, they have been making this trek annually for 50 plus years, many of those years dragging four lippy, cranky, snot-nosed daughters along. They must have it figured out. Right?

Of course they have it figured out, but we are there with our own ideas, methods, and couple dynamics; they want to be polite to us, while at the same time we feel it's appropriate to defer to their wishes whenever possible. Two well oiled machines (couples) politely defer to one another, and like people trying to pass in a narrow hallway, we move together first to the left and then to the right but always in opposite directions. We are doomed. The machines perform the correct movements resulting only in unintentional but total chaos. Kindness, what hath thou wrought?

What seems to happen under these circumstances is that each individual, unconsciously sensing the confusion but not understanding how to resolve it, and therefore fearing the worst, adopts an "every man for himself" posture and grasps the idea that is most important to him and holds onto it blindly. Any inconsistencies or outright conflicts between these ideas are categorically ignored by the victims as they thrash and churn impotently, each pursuing his own single-minded goal.

English Bob grasps the "Get There" idea. He doesn't care about much else, but when we leave we must leave early and keep going in order to "Get There." The four daughters are all grown-up now, but it's clear that the predawn dawdling and endless bathroom stops of yesteryear still haunt him. Babs, a predawn dawdler herself who is now operating outside her typical couple dynamic, cares most about not leaving something behind that she will wish she had at home during the winter. She wants, first and foremost, to take her time packing. Ginny, my beloved, wants to pack the night before and arrive in time to get everything settled and cook a nice dinner for her parents before going home. My methodology, on the other hand, is to leave after dinner in order to miss the traffic, and then drive fast, arriving in time to unload and still get to bed at a decent hour.

It's late afternoon on Monday by this time and we plan to travel Tuesday. Fueled by adrenaline, the following plan evolved: Ginny and I pack our stuff in the "Egg McMuffin" on top of English Bob's Volvo the night before, while Babs and English Bob pack his things and everything "sure to go" in preparation for an early start. Tuesday morning, in the predawn, we fill Bob's Volvo the rest of the way, and with Ginny driving they are sure to "Get There" (English Bob) in time for Ginny to "settle things and prepare a nice dinner" (Ginny).

Two down. Any sacrifices? Yes; half-assed application of English Bob's inscrutable "Egg McMuffin" safety strap by yours truly resulted in the loss of one queen size top sheet and one pillow case.

With the early birds on the road, Babs moved deliberately from room to room packing, organizing, trashing, and stashing. I supported her efforts by loading what she packed into the car, and carrying what she trashed to the dumpster. "She took her time packing" (Babs). "We left late and drove fast" (Cliff).

Done. Any sacrifices? Yes, we had sandwiches on the road instead of the preferred leaving after dinner, and Babs was so tired from unfettered time-taking that she fell asleep during the Cubs vs. Marlins game on the radio.

The dinner Ginny cooked was great, and Bob had taped the game. All is well that ends well.

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Replies: 1 Comment

Well done.

teeney said @ 10/19/2003 08:39 AM CST