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10/25/2003: "Caught Up?"

Vacation is tough on your schedule, but somebody's gotta do it or the economy would suffer irreparable harm. Anyway, I've been back a little more than a week now, and I think I'm finally caught up. I'm not without emotional scars, mind you, from the process of catching up. I made a "quick like a bunny" blog entry, for example, about the time change scheduled for 0200 Sunday morning and I had the whole "spring forward fall back" vs. gain an hour/lose an hour reversed. What an idiot. Click more.. below.

But hey, I guess I'm not alone in my abject confusion, because nobody made a peep though the posting was up for a couple of days. I pulled it when I realized my mistake, but I think it was actually pretty funny if you pretend falling back means traveling east instead of west. I'm going to plug it back in here where I won't waste any of your time commenting that my basic premise is backwards; if you have seen this entry before and didn't notice my error, then you should slow down a little too. And, by the way, what's your excuse? Here goes:

Time Management

Time does the fall back part of "spring forward fall back" this weekend. Yes, it's the end of daylight saving time for 2003. Sunday at 0200 hours (that's last call Saturday night) you will, due to no fault of your own, be an hour late.

If you, like me, are not an early riser, then the end of daylight saving time is an annual disaster. Help yourself! Take the words "fall back" seriously. In war movies, when the big guy yells, "fall back," everybody runs like hell. What this means to you is, like the Army guys, you give yourself a chance to regroup. Live to fight another day. If you don't take care of yourself, pilgrim, who's gonna?

Let's face it, we regular people are surrounded by early risers. Early risers love to travel east just to watch other people on airplanes in pain, and even more than that they love the end of daylight savings time just because of the sheer volume of people in pain all at one time. And they don't even have to buy a ticket. What can I do?

Know your enemy. Early risers can't live without sleep. Nobody can. Early risers just feel good when they wake up. I don't know why they do, but they do. This can be frightening unless you stay close enough to an early riser to see him when he runs out of gas, say about 10:00 AM. They will try to crawl under something; be persistent and you will see their bright eyes turn bleary, and their hair stand straight up in the air as if under its own power. This will give you strength.

Now, to the plan. Next Friday, before the big weekend, cancel everything you're planning for Sunday and tell your boss you have a dentist appointment Monday morning. Any early riser you cancel out on will be suspicious, especially your boss; do it with confidence. Remember, you're better than they are; you're honest.

Sunday morning get up whenever you wake up, and spend a relaxing day bumping your clocks, watches, VCRs, and microwave ovens back a half-hour. This should tire you out, and if it doesn't take a walk in the park. Then, have two cocktails followed by a big meal, and watch a movie on TV that you really don't want to see. Go straight to bed.

Monday morning get up whenever you wake up, and repeat the procedure. Remember, you have no plans. Tuesday morning you will be fine. Good luck.

Pretty funny? Maybe, but still backwards. Saturday is "This Week's Skin" rotation day, and as I said I'm all caught up, so don't miss it because its new.

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