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12/30/2003: "Amateur Night"

One of the interesting things about Christmas is that when it's over it takes weeks or even months before you can remember why you were so excited about it. I don't know why the post Christmas let down is so dramatic, but I know how to cure it. The surefire cure for post Christmas let down is New Year's Eve. Click more.. below.

New Year's Eve, known by battle scared veterans as amateur night, can only be successfully celebrated in one way. And that is simple, no frills drunkeness. Don't try to do a date night thing; you will only waste your money and time. The people waiting on you feel the same way you do, so they will screw you with poor food and service or worse. Cops are also under the weather, so don't drive around. Have friends over, or go someplace to party where you can crash overnight wherever you fall. Then get drunk.

When the sun comes up, go home, take down your tree and whatever else, and pack it all away out of sight, no matter how much your head hurts. Have a big breakfast, and take a nap. Sleep until you wake up naturally. You will be be cured.

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