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06/13/2004: "Uncle Dan"

Uncle Dan reminds us, after soaking up the entry "Old Attitude," (new window) that it's tough all around, especially for the old guy who is clipping his last few coupons. Okay, Uncle Dan, but that doesn't really make it better for anybody. Do you have a plan? No, he tells us, but George Carlin knows, at least, how it should be, and that’s a step in the right direction. Right? Click more.. below.

Life As It Should Be by George Carlin


The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.

I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.
And what do you get at the end of it all?
Death. What's that supposed to be - a bonus??

I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, and get it out of the way.

Then, you go to live in an old age home.
You get kicked out when you're too young.

You get a gold watch, and then you go to work.
You work forty years until you're young enough to really enjoy your retirement.

You do drugs, alcohol, you party like crazy,
(You notice that you seem to be having better and better sex every year).

You go to high school.
You go to grade school, you become a kid.

You play, you have no responsibilities,
you don't give a damn about the "problems of the world."

You become a little baby; you go back into the womb.

You spend your last nine months floating (and kicking) in a paradise
where all your needs are taken care of and you don’t have to do a damn thing.

Then, you finish the whole thing off as a fantastic, earth-shaking, mind-blowing orgasm!!

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