Friday, August 29, 2003

Heal Thyself
Doctor Big, heroine of "Doctor Big vs The Mathematicians" (click to view), just bought a new Toshiba Pentium 4 laptop, and it bit her on the thumb. What? Yes, on the thumb. I'll tell you what I mean. If, in her professional capacity, she were removing a fat, green, freshly shelled pea from the nostril of a distraught child - stranger things have happened - and she allowed a temporarily unused and forgotten thumb to wander, unnoticed, into that child's mouth, what would happen? Click more.. to find out.
posted by @ 07:28 PM CST [more..]

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Jambo, Jumbo!
Jambo, yes, this is Swahili for Aloha, and Jumbo is my quasi brother-in-law's pseudonym. No, he is not African; in fact he is one of the whitest guys I know, short of an actual albino. But his name is Jim, and his girlfriend, my quasi sister-in-law, is too creative/perverse to call him Jimbo. It's Jumbo. He's gotten used to it, over the years, and he even uses it for an e-mail address. Anyway, not being above torturing people with silly names, I started tossing out the occasional, "Jambo, Jumbo," or using it in the greeting of an e-mail and no reaction. Zippo, deadpan. Click more.. below.
posted by @ 11:36 PM CST [more..]

Thursday, August 21, 2003

What Is It?
I'm sitting in a cabin on one of the most peaceful lakes in Northwest Michigan and I can't hear myself clicking on the keys of my laptop. In fact, I wouldn't be able to hear the phone ring, if it rang, and I certainly can't hear the soft music that I think is still playing on the boom box. What the hell is going on? Click more.. below.
posted by @ 02:17 PM CST [more..]

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Venus
Venus and the Vinalia Rustica, August 19. Venus was an ancient Italian goddess associated with cultivated fields and gardens and later identified by the Romans with the Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite. Click more.. below.
posted by @ 07:29 PM CST [more..]

Monday, August 18, 2003

It Ain't Over Yet
Saturday night I returned to my tree. I didn't seek a reunion; I just happen to go by it on my way to a drink at the end of the Chicago - Michigan trail; see entry "Trees are Hard". I just wanted to show Chrissie, my road partner for the trip, how the blaze I left still shines in the lights. And there it was. Someone had put up a sign. Small, maybe 10 x 4 inches, and subtle, only about a foot above the ground, with "Cliff's Tree" lettered with a wood burner, above the date "July 2003." Click more.. below.
posted by @ 04:51 PM CST [more..]

Friday, August 15, 2003

Arnold
What hast thou wrought? In the infancy of his gubernatorial campaign, Arnold has blown it. He shares, with "Slick Willie", the malady known as diarrhea of the mouth. Clinton, when faced with the post Linda Tripp press onslaught, might have said, "Sure, I am the president, but I'm also a very sexy guy." He chose, however, to answer questions that were never asked, such as, is oral sex really sex? And, he buried himself. This is diarrhea of the mouth. Now, what about Arnold? Click more.. below.
posted by @ 03:22 PM CST [more..]

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Pawnhaus
What is it? Where can I get some? The answers to these and other questions about the movie, the band, and why they can't just make up their minds, are finally answered. Click more..below.
posted by @ 08:36 PM CST [more..]

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

With a Knife?
Back in the wild and woolly days of Big Iron, when I was just a spud, I was working for Spiegel as a systems programmer. Yes, that's the mail-order house Spiegel, like Sears, Wards, and at that time, Aldens. If you think for a moment about what a mail-order house does for a living, it's pretty easy to imagine why we, in IT, IS, Data Processing, or whatever you want to call it, pretty much ran the show. Successful retailers had all figured out by then that they were actually in the credit business so..., but wait, I want to tell you about the guy with the knife. That's a story about corporate "also-rans" trying to topple the mighty. And, that's a lot more fun than credit. Did they win? Let's ask the guy with the knife. Click more..below.
posted by @ 07:18 PM CST [more..]

Monday, August 11, 2003

Achtung Baby
It's not who you know, it's whom you know.
posted @ 06:51 PM CST [link]

Saturday, August 9, 2003

Holy Land
Are you sick of the Middle East squabble? Stop the feuding, the fussing and the fighting. Something for everyone? Damn straight! Get the secular heads of state on board, then ring the place with U.S. troops and create a theme park called, you guessed it, Holy Land. You can't do that, can you? What about world opinion, and the United Nations? You say, ah, something for everyone? Click more.. below.
posted by @ 12:49 PM CST [more..]

Friday, August 8, 2003

Doctor Big
Do you have a system to beat the casino? If the answer is no, you can have one if you want it, just read on. This is the story of Doctor Big vs The Mathematicians. In this corner, wearing white cotton shorts, a navy blue pullover, and a gray hooded sweatshirt is Doctor Big. She is cute, blond and blue-eyed, with a compact build and is pushing maybe 5 foot 3 inches tall in her denim, lucky, "casino" deck shoes. In the opposite corner, The Mathematicians. These girls are tall and leggie with long straight hair, one is blond with a ponytail and the other with red/brown hair and a single braid down the middle of her back. They're both wearing jeans and T-shirts with sandals on suntanned feet. The Mathematicians are sisters and they share open air, girl next door, good looks, but right now, their faces are determined, and their minds are closed. Click more..below.
posted by @ 05:00 PM CST [more..]

Thursday, August 7, 2003

Fall of Tyre
Alexander the Great undertook the siege of Tyre, in 332 bc, constructing a mole from the mainland across the strait to reach the island fortress. The mole was half a mile long and two hundred feet wide. The great city, over which Hiram had once held sway, was utterly destroyed by early August, 332 bc, and its citizens all killed or sold into slavery. Peter Green writes of Alexander's mole:
posted by @ 04:39 PM CST [more..]

Wednesday, August 6, 2003

Study This
Stupid studies lead to stupid laws. The Chicago Tribune reports, "Talking on a cellphone behind the wheel is more dangerous than driving drunk, researchers from the University of Utah conclude in a new study. And it makes no difference whether the telephone is hand-held or hands-free, researchers say."

What, are they nuts? Let's kick that around. Click more.. below.
posted by @ 12:13 AM CST [more..]

Monday, August 4, 2003

Trees Are Hard
We all know that trees are hard and, though our mothers don't give it the same kind of airtime as "fire is hot", it is every bit as important. The realization that trees are hard, and how important that is, has, in the past, come back to me in a rush when I found myself skidding from side to side down a snowpacked, and suddenly polished, piece of road in the heavy woods. But, last Tuesday was July 29, and it was three in the afternoon and sunny, and I was on a mission of mercy. Click more..below to find out if that cuts any ice.
posted by @ 07:34 PM CST [more..]

Friday, August 1, 2003

Dog Days
"Dog days are periods of exceptionally hot and humid weather that often occur in August in the northern temperate latitudes. The name originated with the ancient Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians; they believed that Sirius, the dog star, which rises simultaneously with the Sun during this time of the year, added its heat to the Sun's and thereby caused the hot weather. Their belief that dogs were subject to spells of madness at this time also may have contributed to the name. Because people tended to become listless during the dog days, Sirius was held to have a detrimental effect on human activities." from Encyclopedia Britannica
posted @ 01:15 AM CST [link]